1918 Letter 5
June 13, [1918]
My dearest Mother – You can’t imagine what a blessing your letters are to me. I wasn’t a bit annoyed about Squire’s letter. I am too secretive anyway but I have heard so many girls’ affairs laid on the table for public discussion that I dreaded having my own meet the same fate but it is all far enough behind me now for me to see it in it’s true light and my outlook is entirely different. I quite agree with you and thank you a thousand times for treating it all as you have done. Being brought up in a small place has given me a wholesome regard for the opinion of the onlooker, and if more girls had it they would make fewer indiscreet mistakes.
I am glad I did it and have had great peace of mind ever since, so there is nothing to regret. It always seemed to me that it wouldn’t turn out at least along the line we were going on. We have quite a developed sense of intuition and it surely can’t lead us wrong. That is all I can say for I really had no logical reason for doing it, though I had a dozen reasons that I don’t even know myself and that I couldn’t begin to tell you.
So you were thinking of V.A.D.ing were you. I never got that letter. I know how you felt about wanting to get away and get into things but now the war machine is so large that individuals are doomed to the same little round of commonplaces just as they were in civil life, so after all your idea of home service is best I think. I itch to get to France and have a part in all that is going on there but there is no chance and so I must carry on here.
I haven’t time for more just now so will post this and try to start again in the evening –
Yours always
Helen.